“…the driving force of words whether written, spoken or thought are continuously propelling us through life; making us or breaking us, lifting us to incredible heights or dragging us down to the depths of despair, healing our hearts and souls or offending and wounding us deeply.” ~ Elmarie Swartz
Many people don’t realize the energy and power words have. Communication is important and necessary in our day-to-day lives and in all relationships, but we also need to be mindful of not only what is spoken, but also what is thought about.
Wishing someone well, to have a nice day or to be careful on their journey may seem trivial, but we are not only positively adding to that person’s attitude toward their day or journey, but speaking words of positivity actually has a positive effect on us too. Think of the times when you’ve not felt the best or you had your own storms going on in your life and when you’ve shared a positive word with someone and they smile or thank you in appreciation, it does actually help you to feel better. Yes, the person you share a positive word with is still responsible for how they feel and for their own attitude, but perhaps your kind word and smile might just be the thing they need to hear. In the same way, speaking negatively to someone can effect how someone feels. Think of the times when you’ve witnessed a disgruntled customer insulting a service provider or you’ve been the one receiving the negative words from a boss, co-worker or loved one. How did that make you feel? And does speaking negatively really achieve anything positive? I would say no, it doesn’t.
Speaking positively about your desires and goals truly does help in the journey to achieving them. Speak of them as if they have already manifested. Associating with people going in the same direction as you are or are trying to achieve a similar goal also helps in sharing words of positivity toward realization of those goals and dreams. Instead of saying “if”, say “when” and instead of “maybe”, say “it will be”.
Written words can be as powerful as the ones spoken and so we should also be mindful of what we write, especially in an intense moment of emotion. Angry words can be written and much like angry words spoken, they can’t be taken back. It’s wonderful to get notes, emails and texts with well wishes and good sentiments, adding smiley faces to make it even more positive, but we’ve all been guilty of sending negative, “poke a person in the eye” types of emails and texts and in looking back, was it really a good thing? Most of the time it was something we did just to make ourselves feel better, but those words have hurt someone and, in the end, we regret having sent them. Consider writing that scathing email, letter or text so you can feel better, but don’t send it until you’ve calmed down. Chances are you won’t send it, but at least you’ve expended that negative emotion so you can let it go.
Another important area of speaking positively is in self-talk or how we speak of ourselves. If you do something and it doesn’t work out like you’d hoped, don’t resort to admonishing yourself for things not happening as planned. Instead, speak of how it’ll work out better next time. I hear people say out loud “Oh, (their own name), why are you being so stupid?”, or “I knew it wouldn’t work, it never does”. This will never accomplish anything positive and will become a self-fulfilling prophecy of things continuing to not work out because that’s where the focus is. We unfortunately feel we must reprimand ourselves for not accomplishing things. How would you speak to someone you love? Would you say the same things to them? We need to love ourselves enough to speak positively and look forward with anticipation of everything falling into place or working out and if not, finding a solution instead of resorting to self-punishment via our self-talk.
Self-talk also affects our health and wellness. So many people say “oh that person is just killing me”, or “I feel like crap or I’m having a crappy day”. What if what we said immediately came to pass? Would you really want someone to kill you with their words or actions? Do you want your day to continue to be crappy? The words carry energy with it and of course, it’s not positive. Yes, there are days when we don’t feel good, but wouldn’t it be better to speak of wellness? If we say “I feel bad but I’m looking forward to getting better” spins it in a way that you’re still saying how you feel, but steering those bad feelings into a positive by speaking of wellness. It does take practice to focus on the positive, but by doing so, you are pointing yourself in a good direction.
So we all should be mindful of what we say and write to others and, most of all, what we say to ourselves. Realizing that words carry energy, both positive and negative, and being mindful of how they are used, will allow us to strive to live a life of positivity and wellness. ~ © 2015 T. A. Garcia